So this is it - I have reached the milestone of the Tenth Post. I have decided to ditch the grumpiness from the Eighth and Ninth Post, as I think it was painting me in an un-beatific light, and no-one wants to read about stuff that gets on my moobs.
But why oh why is the song '2 Become 1' running through my head? It's starting to really annoy me. Every time I try to mentally play an alternative through the cortex to try and get rid of the Spice Girls, it just morphs back into that one. 'Come a little bit closer, baby - get it on, get it on' etc. Its weird. I didn't even hear it on the radio. I think this could be a cruel trick on the London population to try and save the show 'Viva Forever'. We are all subliminally being played Spice Girls songs in a frequency that we can only subconsciously register. I heard at least one person humming 'Mama' on the Underground, and someone else mouthing the words to 'Who Do you Think You Are?' to me on the 261 to Lewisham the other day. Actually, I think its too late to save the show - the theatre has been taken over by 'Dirty Dancing' already, so if the Spice switch could be turned off now, I would be grateful, thank you.
I am fairly sure that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have devised a machine to subliminally plant songs in the heads of innocent people. Its just the sort of thing they would do, in between writing hopelessly aspirational vegan cookbooks and boring the world to death. Not sure they would choose the Spice Girls for their first mental assault though - they must have sold the technology to the highest bidder. Simon Fuller or someone like that. I kinda feel that one of them has to be diagnosed with some form of disease to make them interesting - nothing fatal or anything, maybe just a lesion, or a bad rash somewhere obvious. I saw Coldplay in concert once and I was annoyed that I really enjoyed it. I would twist that man's head clean off if it was legal to do so, but only after I had ascertained that his band members were not in the vicinity, 'cos the drummer looks handy.
What I want is to insert one of those little mind-controlling insects into his cerebral cortex, like what Khan did to Chekov in Star Trek Colon The Wrath of Khan (V1.0) then make him insist that Coldplay release nothing but Queen covers from now on, because - damn - that would be cool. I miss those guys.
I am fairly sure that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have devised a machine to subliminally plant songs in the heads of innocent people. Its just the sort of thing they would do, in between writing hopelessly aspirational vegan cookbooks and boring the world to death. Not sure they would choose the Spice Girls for their first mental assault though - they must have sold the technology to the highest bidder. Simon Fuller or someone like that. I kinda feel that one of them has to be diagnosed with some form of disease to make them interesting - nothing fatal or anything, maybe just a lesion, or a bad rash somewhere obvious. I saw Coldplay in concert once and I was annoyed that I really enjoyed it. I would twist that man's head clean off if it was legal to do so, but only after I had ascertained that his band members were not in the vicinity, 'cos the drummer looks handy.
What I want is to insert one of those little mind-controlling insects into his cerebral cortex, like what Khan did to Chekov in Star Trek Colon The Wrath of Khan (V1.0) then make him insist that Coldplay release nothing but Queen covers from now on, because - damn - that would be cool. I miss those guys.
RSS Feed
