I have decided to create my own band of magnificent superheroes.
I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but in the last ten years or so there has definitely been an uptick in the number of superhero films being made. Could be just me.
The most recent one I watched was Man of Steel, which essentially was a load of cobblers about Kryptonian dragons that you can fly and two almost invincible people hitting each other and causing untold millions worth of property damage. And Kevin Costner, who to be fair I would watch in practically anything.
And so, as per the first line of this post, which I moved up there solely because it’s the one that comes up on Facebook, and which would have fitted much better right here, I have decided to create my very own band of indomitable superheroes.
Unlike The Avengers, the Justice League, the Guardians of the Galaxy, 7 Against Chaos, the Minutemen, Teen Titans, The Boys, etc. - wow there are lot of superhero team-ups out there - my heroes will almost certainly leave the world in the exact same shape, if not worse, than when they found it.
As a team, they are completely inept. Individually they are utterly incapable of operating on an even basic social level. My superheroes are uniquely British, tackling the sort of urban crime (and in one case, inadvertently causing it) that blights our fair isle every day.
This is ground well covered by Mystery Men, Super, Kick-Ass, Defendor and so on - so what will make my band of indomitables really stand out?
Well, since you ask - I’m going to write them as a series of terrible short poems.
Individually, they are Balance Man, Air Freshener, The Agreer, Drone and Boy in Spandex and will each have their own poem, followed by an ‘Assemblage’ poem. Collectively, they will be called ‘The Throng’. This will be my Phase 1.
I am going to write a ‘trailer’ poem for each, bigging them up months before I release the final poem to an almost certain critical drubbing and a global box office in excess of USD 500,000,000.
Phase 2 will be almost identical, but with each hero ‘coloned’ with a strange, meaningless subtitle. ‘Balance Man: Spirit of the Cimarron' or ‘Boy In Spandex: The Cradle of Life’. You get the idea. Or rather, the rehashed idea.
So over the next week prepare yourselves as I will be releasing the short trailers for the actual poems, due Summer 2014, unless radical rewrites are called for after disastrous test readings.
To whet your appetite, here is the first trailer, for ‘The Agreer’:
Trailer #1 for The Agreer.
In 2014,
He’s finally here.
Believe every rumour
On the blogosphere.
Complain all you like about deviation from the comic mythology
Because you won’t hear
any argument from…
The Agreer.
Next trailer:
Balance Man.
Bet you can't wait.
I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but in the last ten years or so there has definitely been an uptick in the number of superhero films being made. Could be just me.
The most recent one I watched was Man of Steel, which essentially was a load of cobblers about Kryptonian dragons that you can fly and two almost invincible people hitting each other and causing untold millions worth of property damage. And Kevin Costner, who to be fair I would watch in practically anything.
And so, as per the first line of this post, which I moved up there solely because it’s the one that comes up on Facebook, and which would have fitted much better right here, I have decided to create my very own band of indomitable superheroes.
Unlike The Avengers, the Justice League, the Guardians of the Galaxy, 7 Against Chaos, the Minutemen, Teen Titans, The Boys, etc. - wow there are lot of superhero team-ups out there - my heroes will almost certainly leave the world in the exact same shape, if not worse, than when they found it.
As a team, they are completely inept. Individually they are utterly incapable of operating on an even basic social level. My superheroes are uniquely British, tackling the sort of urban crime (and in one case, inadvertently causing it) that blights our fair isle every day.
This is ground well covered by Mystery Men, Super, Kick-Ass, Defendor and so on - so what will make my band of indomitables really stand out?
Well, since you ask - I’m going to write them as a series of terrible short poems.
Individually, they are Balance Man, Air Freshener, The Agreer, Drone and Boy in Spandex and will each have their own poem, followed by an ‘Assemblage’ poem. Collectively, they will be called ‘The Throng’. This will be my Phase 1.
I am going to write a ‘trailer’ poem for each, bigging them up months before I release the final poem to an almost certain critical drubbing and a global box office in excess of USD 500,000,000.
Phase 2 will be almost identical, but with each hero ‘coloned’ with a strange, meaningless subtitle. ‘Balance Man: Spirit of the Cimarron' or ‘Boy In Spandex: The Cradle of Life’. You get the idea. Or rather, the rehashed idea.
So over the next week prepare yourselves as I will be releasing the short trailers for the actual poems, due Summer 2014, unless radical rewrites are called for after disastrous test readings.
To whet your appetite, here is the first trailer, for ‘The Agreer’:
Trailer #1 for The Agreer.
In 2014,
He’s finally here.
Believe every rumour
On the blogosphere.
Complain all you like about deviation from the comic mythology
Because you won’t hear
any argument from…
The Agreer.
Next trailer:
Balance Man.
Bet you can't wait.
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