Hello to all my readers who only read the very first sentence on Facebook. I know, the thought of reading any more is just deplorable. I get it.
And so to more important matters – karaoke. Not sure what your thoughts are on karaoke. Personally, I fucking hate it. What an absurdly dreadful waste of time. Hey – if you like a song, put it on the jukebox five times in a row, buy it for your iPod or smart telephone device to listen to ad nauseam on the train, just DON’T ruin it by deafeningly belting it out in a pub when drunk. Jeez people.
There are exceptions of course – 1. If you are a homicidal Thai police captain with a sword, backlit by cool neon, or 2. if you are the artist responsible for originally recording and releasing the track in question, and you find yourself drunk and standing in a pub in Brentford and fancy having a vocal workout, then go right ahead. We won’t hold it against you if you sound a little off-key Enrique, or if you forget the words to a particularly complex rap, Jay-Zed. Knock yourselves out.
However, if you insist on singing in public, and regrettably there is nothing I can do to prevent it, I have done your research for you. Here, courtesy of the magic of the internet, is my review of the five best karaoke versions of that perennial karaoke classic ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton.
1. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke Inferno
Well, this – perhaps predictably – sounds like it has been played on an old Casio keyboard in someone’s bedroom. There is definitely a ‘home-made’ vibe to this recording, including the use of the composer’s mother, or perhaps older sister, on the backing ‘la la la la’ vocal. It’s pretty awful, and given that Matthew White recorded his song ‘Big Love’ in his bedroom, these days there is simply no excuse for a shoddy recording.
2 ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Ameritz Karoke
Well, this is definitely a better version than the Karaoke Inferno version. From the first few bars there is a classier vibe to it. The keyboards sound much better produced, and the vocal sounds like it might actually be a professional singer and not some sound engineer’s mother. The only real complaint about this version is that the percussion is far too loud, which for this 60’s inspired song, is too obtrusive.
3. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke All-Star
Same as the Karaoke Inferno version.
4. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke Spotlight
If it is feasibly possible to have a low point of karaoke versions of popular songs, this one is probably it. This is the nadir, rock-bottom point of karaoke. This is the karaoke equivalent of realising you have woken up from a drunken stupor to find that your house has burned down, your kids were taken away by social services two weeks ago and you now simply can’t get comfortable in bed if you head isn’t resting in a pool of your own Newcastle Brown Ale smelling, phlegmy vomit. This sounds like it was recorded solely using the beeps from an old Motorola Razr repeatedly dialling out rancid porn lines that charge £6.00 a second.
5. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke Action Replay
Well, this one is pretty good, but so utterly average it’s very hard to find anything particularly good or bad about it. If you really, absolutely must sing Emma Bunton’s ‘Maybe’ then this would be a perfectly valid choice to go for. The keyboard is competent, the backing singer sounds committed to the ‘la la la la la’ but it does lack a certain something, that extra special ‘oomph’ that would make the track, and thusly you, really ‘sing’. Very much the ‘Mission to Moscow’ of the bunch so far.
6. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – A-Type Players
A very strong start, with good keyboards, nicely played. The rhythm section is understated and underscores the melody nicely. Then the backing singer starts her ‘la la la’ and it all goes terribly wrong. She comes in a little too early, and is way too loud for the track, completely overwhelming it. This one really sounds like it was the singer that suggested the song because she was proud of her ‘la la la’ ability and her reasonably competent keyboardist (her husband probably) just went along with it before ‘The Gadget Show’ came on.
So, to conclude it’s a close run thing between Ameritz, Action Replay and the A-Type Players. I like the A-Type Players, they sound like they are both committed and talented, but overall the vocal kills it as a karaoke version. The Action Replay effort is OK, but in the end it’s just too forgettable, which leaves Ameritz Karaoke as the winner. Well done guys.
Next time, I might review some more completely useless ephemera.
And so to more important matters – karaoke. Not sure what your thoughts are on karaoke. Personally, I fucking hate it. What an absurdly dreadful waste of time. Hey – if you like a song, put it on the jukebox five times in a row, buy it for your iPod or smart telephone device to listen to ad nauseam on the train, just DON’T ruin it by deafeningly belting it out in a pub when drunk. Jeez people.
There are exceptions of course – 1. If you are a homicidal Thai police captain with a sword, backlit by cool neon, or 2. if you are the artist responsible for originally recording and releasing the track in question, and you find yourself drunk and standing in a pub in Brentford and fancy having a vocal workout, then go right ahead. We won’t hold it against you if you sound a little off-key Enrique, or if you forget the words to a particularly complex rap, Jay-Zed. Knock yourselves out.
However, if you insist on singing in public, and regrettably there is nothing I can do to prevent it, I have done your research for you. Here, courtesy of the magic of the internet, is my review of the five best karaoke versions of that perennial karaoke classic ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton.
1. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke Inferno
Well, this – perhaps predictably – sounds like it has been played on an old Casio keyboard in someone’s bedroom. There is definitely a ‘home-made’ vibe to this recording, including the use of the composer’s mother, or perhaps older sister, on the backing ‘la la la la’ vocal. It’s pretty awful, and given that Matthew White recorded his song ‘Big Love’ in his bedroom, these days there is simply no excuse for a shoddy recording.
2 ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Ameritz Karoke
Well, this is definitely a better version than the Karaoke Inferno version. From the first few bars there is a classier vibe to it. The keyboards sound much better produced, and the vocal sounds like it might actually be a professional singer and not some sound engineer’s mother. The only real complaint about this version is that the percussion is far too loud, which for this 60’s inspired song, is too obtrusive.
3. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke All-Star
Same as the Karaoke Inferno version.
4. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke Spotlight
If it is feasibly possible to have a low point of karaoke versions of popular songs, this one is probably it. This is the nadir, rock-bottom point of karaoke. This is the karaoke equivalent of realising you have woken up from a drunken stupor to find that your house has burned down, your kids were taken away by social services two weeks ago and you now simply can’t get comfortable in bed if you head isn’t resting in a pool of your own Newcastle Brown Ale smelling, phlegmy vomit. This sounds like it was recorded solely using the beeps from an old Motorola Razr repeatedly dialling out rancid porn lines that charge £6.00 a second.
5. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – Karaoke Action Replay
Well, this one is pretty good, but so utterly average it’s very hard to find anything particularly good or bad about it. If you really, absolutely must sing Emma Bunton’s ‘Maybe’ then this would be a perfectly valid choice to go for. The keyboard is competent, the backing singer sounds committed to the ‘la la la la la’ but it does lack a certain something, that extra special ‘oomph’ that would make the track, and thusly you, really ‘sing’. Very much the ‘Mission to Moscow’ of the bunch so far.
6. ‘Maybe’ by Emma Bunton – A-Type Players
A very strong start, with good keyboards, nicely played. The rhythm section is understated and underscores the melody nicely. Then the backing singer starts her ‘la la la’ and it all goes terribly wrong. She comes in a little too early, and is way too loud for the track, completely overwhelming it. This one really sounds like it was the singer that suggested the song because she was proud of her ‘la la la’ ability and her reasonably competent keyboardist (her husband probably) just went along with it before ‘The Gadget Show’ came on.
So, to conclude it’s a close run thing between Ameritz, Action Replay and the A-Type Players. I like the A-Type Players, they sound like they are both committed and talented, but overall the vocal kills it as a karaoke version. The Action Replay effort is OK, but in the end it’s just too forgettable, which leaves Ameritz Karaoke as the winner. Well done guys.
Next time, I might review some more completely useless ephemera.
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